Confessions of a Meditation Guru

03/11/2016 04:48 pm ET

First confession… I ain’t a guru. And, if you come across a teacher who says they are, there is a high probability that you need to hightail it outta there.

So, let me introduce myself and my meditation-ness and my un-guru-ness. I have been called a meditation “expert,” and I feel cool with that. I have been a hard-core practitioner for almost two decades; my first instructor/teacher of six years was a powerful, grounded yet highly spiritual former psychologist; and I have had my own meditation-based company for almost a decade. I teach corporate classes, instruct workshops, lead retreats, teach kids. Yadda, yadda, yadda. My point here isn’t to give you a resume but to give you the meat of my experience. And, let’s add thefilet mignon, I teach individuals how to live from the heart, create community, to love the uncomfortableness of being uncomfortable and how to live a freakin’ perfect life.

Confession #2… Apparently, I do eat meat.

Confession #3… Okay, so that freakin’ perfect life I mention above — I live it, but I am NOT perfect. Sometimes folks have a tendency to think because I can be very Zen or because I do what I do, that I am impervious to challenges and glide through the jungle yelping like a scantily clad Tarzan.

My new chiropractor seemed amazed when viewing my initial X-ray several months ago. My back and nervous system were fairly out of whack, and he expressed an oOoo ahh surprise knowing that I teach meditation. If only he knew what an intense person I can be. Meditation has saved me from myself but it is a life-long process of healing, rediscovery, adjustment and readjustment.

So, let’s get back to that perfect life scenario… what the heck is that then? Well, it is a “real” life that is sometimes messy, sometimes hard, sometimes invigorating, sometimes awesome and sometimes exasperating. And, when we live it in perfection, that means that we see the yum yum in anything and everything. We move from a periscoped view to a kaleidoscoped perspective… seeing striking, patch worked beauty in things that other people may only see in black and white.

My perfect freakin’ life contains a special needs child who can be super duper challenging, a lovely husband whom I fight with who expressed recently… when I was stressed… that I should consider finding a meditation teacher (!), a pimple that currently has taken residence under my nose and these ugly moles that have decided to build little mole condos on my back. Ok, yeah, I am getting personal here. I LIVE to get personal. That IS perfection.

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Confession #4… Okay, so yeah, I also apparently enjoy making confessions. And why? Because it is so important!! My practitioners seek me out because they know they are not going to be sitting with a person who seems elevated, who tries to come off as “more.” I continually share the hard parts of my life or the things I am struggling with. I realize every day that we are all in this together and what affects me also affects others. And, when we share on a healthy and grounded level, we can move mountains. I know my students intimately, they trust me with their stuff ’cause they also know my stuff. No hidden agendas, no walls, no nothing. And, if there are walls, we slowly and gently break them down.

Confession #5… I am not what you expect. And, if you think you’ve figured me out, I will surprise you. (I surprise myself. Tee hee.)

Confession #6… I enjoyed writing this better than I like truffle oil covered French fries. They are my new fav! Until next time…

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